Signs That He’s Not Worth A Second Date

When you go on a date with a new guy, you’re always taking a bit of a risk that he’s not a serial killer or rapist at the worst, or just dull and boring at the least. Dates can go wrong for a lot of different reasons. Maybe he picks his nose or has a braying laugh. There can be other reasons such as there’s no chemistry between you.

Sometimes, though, it’s not quite so easy to tell if you’ve snagged a loser or not. It may be that he’s perfectly nice and, yes, there’s a bit of chemistry. You just don’t quite know whether or not it’s something you want to pursue. In these situations, there are some ways to tell if he’s worth a second date or not. Look for the following signs that he’s someone you just pass by:

He’s a bad tipper: This is often the sign of a selfish person. He doesn’t need to tip outrageously, but if it’s less than 15 percent, he’s probably cheap in other ways, too.

His parents are “mommy” and “daddy” to him: This might just be a Southern thing, but an adult man calling his parents by these little boy names is just weird.

He’s disrespectful regarding his exes: All people have an ex somewhere in their past that hurt them. There’s also baggage left from the old relationships. The thing is that smart guys learn from these relationships and then they move on. A guy that doesn’t learn will be nasty about his exes and possibly use up valuable conversation time with YOU dissing THEM.

He’s rude to servers: A man that’s rude to waiters or retail staff will be rude to you, too, sooner or later.

He’ not a reader: If he’s someone that never reads anything other than the sports section of the newspaper or comic books, he’s probably not intellectually well read. This may or may not be ok with you.

He’s a smoker: This tells you that he doesn’t care a lot about his health. On top of that, his breath probably smells like an ashtray.

He never works out: This might not be that big of a deal to all women but if you’re a woman that takes care of herself, you’ll want to date someone that also leads a healthy lifestyle.

He makes rude remarks about other women: Men that laugh about other women’s less than flattering features can’t possibly respect women on a whole. So if you’re out with someone that jokes about someone’s “fat ass” or “sagging tits,” you probably don’t want to see him again.

He doesn’t care about the news: Men that don’t care about the news or what’s happening in the world aren’t a very aware people.

He’s not well-traveled and doesn’t want to be: This man is probably never going anywhere in life because he doesn’t have any desire to ever leave Tiny Town, Anywhere USA. Unless you’re a real homebody, too, this is a man that will bore you to death.

These are just a few of the red flags that you can keep an eye out for when you start dating a new guy. If you spot one or all of these, you might want to keep looking.

7 Steps On How To Save A Relationship

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her.  Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving.  While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work.  Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children.  But that is not enough.  How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.  One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups.  In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.  For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.  While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.  If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts.  This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns.  Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling.  When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.   Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them.  Then, take concrete steps on your action plan.  If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week.  Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.  If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.  And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.  You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back.  There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward.  Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

Spice Up Your Relationship With Role Playing

There’s no getting around the fact that after a couple has been together for a long time the sex can become routine and even boring. It doesn’t matter how much you love each other, either. At first, everything is new and exciting, but after a few years of being only with each other, the excitement can start dying down. For some couples, it happens more quickly than for others, but it’s going to happen at some point.

Lots of couples do things such as going on second honeymoons. This allows them to have some quality time together without kids or pets around. They can use this time together to reconnect and remember how it felt in the beginning. Second honeymoons are a great idea except for a couple of things. One is that they cost money whether you’re jetting off to Hawaii or just heading around the corner to the local Days Inn for the weekend. Not everyone has the money or the time to do this. The other problem is that the bloom once again fades from the rose within a very short time of returning to “real life.” That’s why the couples that can manage it plan at least one trip away together each year.

There’s another way to spice things up sexually without having to spend a lot of money or even leave your own home. In addition, it’s something that you can do any time you want. It’s called role playing. You’ve probably heard the term before in some context but may not completely understand how it can factor into saving your relationship.

It’s actually quite simple. Everyone has fantasies when it comes to sex. These are the mind games that really turn a person on and may even be played out mentally when engaging in sex. What you’re doing with role playing is bringing these fantasies out in the open; at least between the two of you. The beginning of this is going to require some honest and open talking between you and your partner because that’s the only way to find out the fantasies each of you has.

Now, the next part is actually lots of fun. You can either surprise your partner or the two of you can plan something together, or mix it up a little. Either way, you’ll be role playing the fantasy that one of you has. Be specific when talking out your fantasies so that you’ll both know what elements are considered vital for it to work.

Keep in mind that this isn’t something you must do every night of the week or even every time you have sex, unless the two of you want that. If your lives are really busy, pencil in that one night a week that belongs only to you, your partner and your fantasies. Be creative when arranging these special nights. Once you get started with it, you’ll find that the spark will leap right back into the physical part of your relationship. Each time will be like the first time all over again.

He Dumped Me  How Will I Ever Survive

If you are saying “he dumped me.  How will I ever survive?” mere words in an article will not give you comfort.  It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.

When you’ve been in the position that “he dumped me,” you have two fears.  The first is that you will never recover from the pain.  The second is that no one will ever love you again.

Take heart, dear.  The fear is real.  The pain is real.  But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world.  While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.

You still have friends and family who care about you.  In fact, you now have more time to spend with them.  Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life.  You now have a chance to reconnect with them.

In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you.  When you say, “he dumped me,” that allows them to be vulnerable about how they’ve been hurt.  You will begin to see that your pain is not unique.  You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life.  Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn’t interested in them.  This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.

If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby!  No, really, when you say “he dumped me,” what you tell yourself is that you are worthless.  When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.

There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with.  The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop.  For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors.  A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life.  A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.

As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you.  You will make new friends who share a common interest.  And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.

The truth is that you will find someone to date again.  Your soul mate is out there.

Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.

And, always remember, the best revenge when “he dumped me” is moving on!